Are You Better off Alone?
by Bohemian Revolution
Summary: Song fanfic with Better off Alone by Grinspoon. Numair must make a hard decision when his life is turned upside down by what he thinks is his fault. But will it end happily fo him and Daine? Read and Review!


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, except for Ellen and Susan who are two of my friends. I don't own the song better off Alone by Grinspoon either.**

He knew that in those last days, he should have talked to her. He knew he should have told her he loved her. Before she was lost forever to a place where he could not follow. He sat slumped over his desk, tears streaming down his face, dripping onto his unmarked parchment. If only they had never found out. If only he had never found out. His fist clenched on the table. He would kill him. Even if it took his last breath. He would get his revenge. He lifted his head from the desk, dark brown eyes surrounded by red inflamed circles. His had sat in his darkened chambers for two days now, a broken mess who felt he did not deserve the light. A candle had not been lit at night and curtains had been shut. If a maid decided to come in to try and refresh his chambers, he would send them away. No one dared come to his room anymore.

He looked up on his wall to a picture. The portrait would hardly be able to be seen in this light by most people, but he had stared at the picture for what felt like eternity and knew all the lines, the curves and the expression. Eternity. Everything felt like eternity now that she was gone.

He herd a knock on his door.

"Numair! Stop being a mole and get out! You need some sunlight!"

He knew the voice. The same purple-eyed copper haired knight who had been pounding on his door ever since he stowed away.

"Go away Alanna." He moaned quietly. "Leave me in peace."

Alanna stopped banging on the door for a moment.

"You know Daine would never approve of you locking yourself away in your room in the dark!"

"DON'T YOU BRING DAINE INTO THIS!" he yelled, standing up from his chair in anger. He fell back down into his chair again, covering his face with his hands. Silence was heard for a while outside the room and then footsteps retreating. Even the Lioness known for her fierce temper would not argue with Numair at the moment.

A sob was herd from the darkness, tears streaming down like rivers on his cheeks. Over and over he thought about how he had lost her. How in those last days, he had avoided her at all costs. How he had been there too late to save her.

**I never gave a reason of why I didn't call**

**Now I've grown so tired of lying to myself **

**It cannot go unsaid **

**I regret what they know **

**Don't think it's all been a waste of time**

Numair woke with sunlight shining on his face. Normally nothing could wake him, but today something was different.

There was a dragon, resting on his chest.

"Kitten," He mumbled, still half asleep. Kitten let out a shrill whistle and then starting to let out a variety of sounds as if telling him off. She started to use her paws to gesture, pointing to the form beside him.

Numair laughed at Kitten and pushed her off his chest, as he was starting to find it hard to breath.

"Kitten, Daine's a woman now, she has been for longer than you, or any of us have known her. She doesn't need you to be watching over her." He said. Kitten crossed her paws over her chest and moved sulkily off the bed, opening the door and closing it again, muttering darkly.

Numair laughed softly and then felt an arm snake over his chest. He moved his head down and looked into her beautiful blue eyes. He loved everything about her, and had from when he first ever met her, when she had not even realised that he was a man. She was not so innocent now, oh yes, he had learnt that a while ago. He had not wanted to, thinking that he was taking advantage of her. But she had started it, and well, he just couldn't resist. After all, she was a woman now and she could make her own decisions.

Daine smiled at him now. He grinned back. She started to trace his chest with her finger, still staring into his eyes.

"I heard what you said." She said smiling.

"ahhh so you were not asleep," He said to her. "Did you like what you heard?" he asked very curious. She smiled innocently then moved over at smothered him in a heated kiss. He first responded in surprise but then felt her tongue begging for entrance and granted it, the kiss becoming more heated as both battled to be dominant. Daine finally broke the kiss and smiled at him, breathing slightly heavier than usual.

"That answer your question?"

Numair was breathless from the intensity of the kiss, but managed to pull himself together enough to laugh.

"Come on maglet, it would be best that we got up." He said climbing out of the bed.

"You know you could call me Fiancé instead of maglet. After all, we are engaged." She laughed holding out her hand showing her engagement ring.

"Maglet is much more original Daine." He said simply.

Numair walked next to Daine, arm in arm. They had just had breakfast in the palace hall, with plenty of people staring at them. True they were the new court gossip, but if you had a friend such as the Lioness, Court gossip didn't bother you. Numair and Daine were both happy and did not care what others said and there friends were the same. Although there were particular ones who had not been very happy with the news about the couple. The main one being Perin, her last courter. It turned out he had still loved Daine, but he seemed to accept the marriage, even though most people knew he didn't like it at all.

"So what must you do today maglet?"

Daine smiled at Numair and placed her head on his arm.

"As much as I would love to spend the whole day with you, I have to go tend to a sick hunting dog," She said. "But I can meet you for lunch."

"Hmm that sounds very good indeed. I shall meet you outside the hall." Numair said.

"I will defiantly meet you there." Daine said giving him a kiss goodbye and going off to the kennels.

At lunch time, Numair came earlier so there was no chance of missing Daine. He had a single red rose, wanting to treat her. Alanna walked past and raised her eyebrow at him then smiled at went into the hall. Many people walked past but he knew that they would know why he was standing there.

He waited there for an hour, no one came. There was no sign of Daine, who wouldn't be late for lunch, he knew. He sighed, thinking she was properly still at the kennel. He smiled and walked back to his chamber knowing that she would come once she was done.

It was almost mid afternoon before Numair decided to go and investigate. He went down to the Kennels and found one of the woman who worked there. She smiled at him as he walked up.

"Hello Ellen. Do you know where Daine is?" he asked the smiling woman. Ellen had a large brown greyhound standing at her feet who was looking up at him with intelligent eyes.

"Oh, she left many hours ago. She had already finished tending to this one hear and even did a check on all the dogs before she left." Ellen said pointing to the dog beside her. Numair thought for a moment. If she had left hours ago, wouldn't she have come to lunch, or at least come to his chambers? He smiled at Ellen.

"Thankyou for your help Ellen."

"No trouble at all master Salaman." Ellen said as Numair walked out of the kennels. Maybe she would be at her rooms, after all she may have had another emergency and was back there now.

He got to her room, not really expecting her to be there and knocked on the door, looking at the slate with her name on it. He herd a rustle of parchment inside and a muffled "Just a minute!" from Daine as she came and opened the door. She smiled as she saw him and then went up to kiss him, but then noticed that Numair didn't seem as happy to see her. He was not in fact.

"Daine, Where have you been?" He asked her. She gestured to her room, where Kitten was picking up some clothes and putting them in a basket.

"I've been doing some cleaning." She said smiling. Kitten chirped at him, then got back to work. Numair crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why were you not at Lunch?" He asked again. Daine looked confused.

"But Numair, I thought you didn't want to do lunch today."

"And where did you get that idea?" he said raising his voice more. Daine pulled him inside her room and shut the door, knowing that hearing Numair shouting at her would not do well with the court gossip.

"But Numair yo-"

"You made me make a complete fool of myself! Standing there for an hour waiting for you, while you were in here cleaning!"

"But Nu-" Daine tried to start, looking very confused.

"Is cleaning more important to you then me! Well it obviously is!" Numair yelled.

"No Num-" Daine tried to put in, looking very hurt.

"You know this has defiantly proved me wrong for ever thinking you were a woman!"

There was silence for a moment as the air between them became stiff with anger as Daines eyes were whipped into a blue grey storm.

"So is that what you have always thought me! A kid! Deep down inside that's what you've always thought I am!" She said in a loud angry voice.

"Well that would certainly explain this display! And know your throwing a tantrum!"

"I am not throwing a tantrum Numair! You're the one who is getting worked up about nothing!" Daine yelled, becoming angrier.

"Nothing? You call making me wait for an hour outside the hall for you and making a fool of myself because you were in hear cleaning nothing!" He cried.

"I didn't make you wait, maybe in your old age your forgetting things!" Daine yelled.

"My old age! At least I'm not a child like you!" Numair yelled.

"You know you're the one who's acting like a child, Numair!" Daine yelled.

Numair stood there for a moment, returning the deadly glare that Daine was giving him. Then he moved to the door, looking around the room once more. Kitten was hiding under the bed, muttering darkly at the yelling. He glared once more at Daine then opened the door and threw the red rose at her feet. He slammed the door and stormed off, back to his chambers. Alanna came and knocked on his door after a while and came in. Numair was still storming around his room, blasting black and white fire at the walls in his anger.

"Numair!" she yelled over the sound of the blasts hitting the walls. He stopped and looked at her.

"Alanna. What are you doing here?" He asked quietly with an angered tone.

"Well I came to ask why I happened to hear yelling coming from Daine's room." She asked, one eyebrow raised. Numair blasted a flame at the wall beside the Lioness. She stood her ground, knowing he would never hurt her.

"You must have been mistaken!" he yelled.

Alanna watched him calmly, knowing that this was not true.

"Go, Alanna, just go." He whispered.

Alanna watched him for a moment, then moved out of the room silently. She was about to close the door when she stopped.

"Numair, you need to sort this out soon. You can't loose Daine's love. You need each other." She said quietly before closing the door slowly.

Daine moved silently and picked up the rose, which was already browning at the edges. She fell sat down on her bed with a thump with the dying rose on her lap. Kitten crawled up onto the bed and give a questioning click. A tear streamed down her cheek. Many followed. All of them were tears of anger, shame and sadness. Sadness for what was now lost.

**Are you better off alone? **

**Stop lying to yourself **

**I regret what was said **

**I deny what they know **

**Are you better off alone? **

For 2 days Numair at all costs kept away from Daine. He went to meals as late as he could, kept to his chambers and the quiet rooms of the library in his free time and always managed to avoid places where he would see Daine. If he heard her or saw her, he would immediately change directions. He even sometimes avoided his friends, for fear of seeing Daine. Whenever he did see them, most of them tried to convince him to go and talk to her. The Lioness was unusually quiet for her normal self but Numair was glad that she of all people was not trying to convince him. yes, her words had stuck from when she had closed the door to his room, but he had learnt to push that to the back of his mind. He was too intent to not see the person who had hurt him so bad.

One day when Numair was studying a book in a quiet corner of the library, where no one could see him. He heard someone enter the library and raised his head. Most people were at dinner at the moment. He wondered who it was. He peered out of his corner and spotted Perin, who was quietly moving towards a shelf on advanced magic. It was the same shelf the Numair had got the book in front of him from. He watched quietly as Perin browsed the shelf. He took a book out, a very thick one. Numair couldn't see the title, but Perin seemed to have found the book and opened it to a certain page. He went over to a desk and scribbled down some notes on a parchment before closing the book, putting it on the shelf and leaving silently. Numair moved over to the shelf picking the book that Perin had looked in and taking it off the shelf.

_Spells for the Advanced_

He looked at the title. Completely harmless. This was just a normal book. Anyone could use it. It would be impossible to find the page that Perin had been looking at, but Numair decided to drop the matter. Perin wasn't the kind of person to be doing anything mysterious. He was too shy. Numair walked out of the library, forgetting about it.

The next day Numair slept in as usual and when he got up knew that breakfast would have started a while ago. In fact he knew he would not be able to go into the hall anymore. They would have stopped serving. He would have to go ask the chefs personally. He sighed as he bathed himself and got ready for another day of avoiding Daine.

Numair walked into the kitchen from outside the hall. He knew that Daine would most likely be in the hall eating and he didn't want to see her. But he did not know how long he could keep this up. He couldn't avoid her forever. He had thought about this long and hard, and he decided that he would have to leave the palace. He just couldn't stand staying here, running from Daine who he had once loved. It broke his heart, but his anger rose like a strong tide. He would never forgive her. He smiled slightly at one of the maids.

"Good Morning, Master Salamin." She said, curtsying.

"Susan, good morning," He said. "Any chance of a late waker getting some late breakfast?"

"I'm sure we can find you something, though it will most likely be cold. You should try waking with the sun one day."

"I don't think my body could take waking up so early, Susan."

Susan smiled and went off to fetch him some breakfast.

Numair went and sat at a table in the kitchen, where he could look out into the hall. There were still many people in there. Alanna, Jon, Thayet, Onua, Buri, Raoul, scattered members of the queens riders and the Kings own and many others of the palace. He scanned the room and thought t might be safe to move out into the hall to eat, when he found Daine. He sighed heavily and slumped in his chair. He would never be able to do anything in peace here. That was why he had to leave. He watched them from his hidden spot. Daine looked upset about something, her usual talkative nature quieted and her head hung low.

Numair was watching her for some time until his eyes were drawn to something else. Someone else had entered the room, cloaked in a midnight blue cloak, that covered his head. But there was something else. A sense of power around him. A new mage here? Perhaps. Numair wondered why he was here well after breakfast. Maybe to see the King? He did not seem to be moving towards the king and the king did not notice him. Maybe he wanted to see one of the own or the riders. That was the direction in which he was heading. Numair watched him carefully. Maybe this mage would take his place once he was gone. Once he had disappeared away from the palace, away from Daine.

But the mage stopped beside the tables, some of the own and riders looking up at him then went back to eating and talking, clearly not interested. But Numair was very interested. A power had started to grow around him, a lot stronger than before. Numair frowned, slightly confused. What was this mage doing? The cloak fell off his head, revealing the face of Perin. Perin? What was Perin doing here? What was Perin doing gathering power in a crowed eating hall. Daine turned around, sensing something and cried out. Already Perin was gathering electric green fire in his outstretched hands. Behind him the tables of people suddenly froze in time. He must have done something to them so that they would not ruin his plan, whatever he was doing. Daine had got up and was running towards Perin, trying to stop him. Numair got up quickly from his table, certain on stopping whatever Perin had in mind. He wasn't doing it for Daine, but he was worried that the attack was on the King, and from the power that Perin was gathering even the King would not be able to save himself. Jena called after him with his breakfast on a plate, he paid no attention. All his focus was on Perin and the ball of Flame was thrown.

But the shot never got thrown at the king, who already had a ball of shimmering blue around him, along with the Lioness' Purple flames. The attack was thrown straight at Daine. Daine cried out in pain and surprise as she was thrown through the air, and into a wall. She fell to the ground and was still.

"DAINE!" Numair cried out as Daine flew through the air, and anger welled up inside him. Not the anger towards Daine that he had felt, but a much stronger anger, towards Perin. Immediately he threw a strong blast of black and white flame at the man, which left him drained of most power. Perin disappeared in a whiff of smoke, as if he had never been there, and the blast blew up where he once stood, a charred mark left of the stone. His laughter was boomed around the hall, and everyone looked around. Numair ran over to Daine, then Perin spoke.

"See what you did Numair? You left her without protection and without your love, and it is all your fault that she is gone. You should have never loved her, that way, she would still be here."

He laughed again, and slowly it quietened until it disappeared completely.

A crowd gathered around the couple, Numair holding Daine in his arms. The members of the King's own and the Queens Riders had been unfrozen and were confused by what had happened. Numair felt for Daine's heartbeat. There was a faint one. Numair watched as her eyes flickered open slowly. He watched quietly, not sure if she was going to be ok. She was breathing ragged breaths, and she looked around and up at Numair. Her eyes were full of confusion and pain.

"Nu-Numair." She managed to whisper with great difficulty. Numair smiled at her.

"Daine, your going to be fine." He said with relief. She was going to be alright. Daine smiled weakly, then coughed horribly. Numair watched with sudden anxiety. Blood started to dribble down her mouth.

"Someone fetch a healer!" Numair cried. Alanna would have healed Daine, but she was already running after Perin, going off to find him and hunt him down. One of the riders ran to fetch someone, but Daine coughed in protest, taking gasping ragged breaths.

"Num-numair. I, I-" she never got to finish her sentence. Her eyes stared blankly out, her breathing slowed, and her heartbeat stopped. She was gone.

The healer ran into the hall, but it was too late. Daine was gone. Alanna ran into the room, about to say something, but then saw what had happened and went silent. Numair held her in his arms, staring unbelievably at Daine. Tears started streaming down his cheeks freely. Outside animals were going crazy, and birds were desperately trying to get through the windows. They all knew that there wild mage was gone. Everywhere animals mourned the death of the human who was best friend to all.

Numair started to sob, not caring what everyone said. Daine was gone. He couldn't believe. His heart would not believe it.

"I love you, Daine." He whispered, knowing it was too late. She couldn't hear him. And nothing could bring her back. She was gone, and it was all his fault, just like Perin said. He sobbed and repeated it to Daine's dead body over and over again, as if saying what she hadn't heard before her life was ended would bring her back to life. Everyone watched silently, no one moving. Silent tears feel down the Lioness' cheeks, down the Kings, down Thayet's, down Onua's. All those that held Daine close to their hearts could not believe that she was gone. But Numair was feeling this the most. The blood was drying on Daine's beautiful face, giving reality to the nightmare that they all seemed to be trapped in.

As Numair held Daine, she started to glow with copper fire. Numair stopped sobbing and watched as her body became a bright copper colour and disappeared from his arms until all he held was thin air.

Daine was gone forever.

**Those that we admired **

**All stood their ground and cried **

**I didn't start the fire **

**I just tried to see your eyes **

**It cannot go unsaid **

**I only want you to know **

**I think it's all going to work out fine **

Numair found himself sobbing loudly again at the memory of it. Over and over it played in his head, over and over he saw Daine's lifeless eyes in his mind. At night he was haunted and woke up sweating. The words of Perin played over and over in his mind.

_It's all your fault that she's gone._

He believed it. It was his fault. If he had never fought with Daine then she would still be here. If he had been there to protect her then Perin wouldn't have been given the chance. If Numair had been a bit more suspicious as to what Perin was doing reading that book, then he might have saved Daine. In fact, what good had come out of him ever weighing the burden of his love down on her? _She loved you back._ One part of his mind argued. But he pushed it away. It was his fault for ever giving her ideas in the first place.

He felt he didn't deserve the light anymore, he didn't deserve to see any animals who he had caused great pain. He didn't want to see any of his sympathetic friends. He didn't deserve sympathy. Daine deserved sympathy for what he had done to her. She deserved life instead of him who had caused her to lose it. How many times had he begged the black god, preyed to him, asked him to give Daine's life back. All he had received was silence. A cold silence where he wept for her, wept for everything that had happened. Wept for what he had caused.

No one had found Perin yet. He was long gone. Numair knew the search was hopeless. He lifted his head slightly looking at the portrait of Daine once again. Her smiling face. If only he could look upon her once again. But if he saw her again, he knew he would hang his head in shame. He had caused all her pain, misery. She hadn't even herd that he loved her, before she slipped away. He only said it when it was too late for her to hear.

He felt no point in living now, with guilt and shame taking over his life. There was no point in living in the hell that he was in. His friends had tried yes they had tried to get him back on his feet, but he couldn't bring himself to. He didn't deserve to go on. He didn't want to go on, not without Daine. He didn't care about anything, or for anyone now. He didn't care. All he cared about was Daine, and the cause of her death. Him. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing was special. He felt as if he was in a pool of darkness, not able to find any light, not able to get out. Nothing in this world could end the darkness.

Nothing in this world.

**We're better off alone **

**Then lying to ourselves **

**Who cares what they've said **

**Who cares what they know **

**Are we better off alone? **

Numair got to work quickly, before he changed his mind. He got out a quill and new parchment, that had not been tear stained. He started to write, not caring about hardly being able to see his writing. It came from the heart, and writing from the heart needn't be seen to be written. He wrote for a while, taken his time, sobbing sometimes in the dark. When he was satisfied with it, and he had wrote his hearts contents out, he folded the parchment. He looked up to the ceiling and lay down on the bed, exhausted from two days of crying. Then he prayed.

"Dark God, I do not deserve to live, and though I have bargained with you to bring the one whom I love back, I only ask one thing from you now. If you do not do the job, I will have to do it to myself," He whispered to the god, not knowing if he heard. "Take me Dark God."

Numair waited a moment for an answer. Silence was all he herd. Numair sighed. The Dark God wasn't going to do it. He would just have to do it himself.

Numair sat up weary still, and thinking he should just sleep. But then he saw something that woke him up. Staring at him was a figure in a black cloak. The Dark God. Numair lowered his eyes in respect, but the God willed him to return his gaze.

"I give you your wish, weary soul." He said, voice booming around existence. Numair stood and bowed in thanks and respect. The Black God held out his hand and Numair followed him, leaving his body behind in the world of misery.

**I know that my love I'll send **

**Could we still be friends but this is the end **

**I think it's all going to work out fine **

Green grass.

Blue sky.

Silent Forest.

Numair awoke in a clearing. The land looked beautiful and green. The grass was soft and comfortable, looking untouched by anyone. It was as if he was the first to be here, to see these lands. He got up slowly, expecting pain. He felt none. A cool breeze lifted up and swept around him for a moment, moving the trees around the clearing. The sky was a beautiful blue, with no clouds in it. He smiled at his new surrounds. But where was he? He did not know. And where was Daine? He sighed. Daine. What if even after this he did not find her. What if he wandered this deserted land for eternity, never to find her? His heart sunk at the thought.

He looked over to the trees. Was that a movement? He could have sworn he saw a flash of white through the trees. He must have been dreaming. He turned and saw it again. This was getting confusing. He watched again as it happened. It was something, or someone, moving around the clearing. Suddenly they came into view, running at him. It was a white wolf. It stopped just outside the cover of the trees, and barked sharply at him. He watched in horror. But if he was in the black gods realm, would he be able to be killed. Numair didn't think so. Suddenly the wolf changed, and Numair watched as it turned into a woman, a woman with curly brown hair, a woman with stormy blue eyes. The woman he loved. She wore a white dress that came down to her feet, and flowed out slightly behind. Numair stood speechless as Daine watched him.

"Daine?" he managed to say. She smiled and ran at him, pinning him against a tree. She was much taller here, almost the same height as Numair.

"Yes Numair, It's me." She said smiling. She suddenly had her lips on his, pushing him against the tree harder. He was still overwhelmed with surprise that he had found her that he took a moment to react. Suddenly the kiss became much more heated from both of them. Numair suddenly pushed hard and then they were both on the ground, still swept up in a passionate kiss, Numair on top of Daine. She managed to roll onto the top and lay on his chest as they broke the kiss. Daine giggled. Numair lay breathless.

"Daine, I'm so sorry." He said after a while of them laying with each other, enjoying each others company. Daine looked at him.

"What for?" She asked.

"For getting mad at you for not turning up for dinner first of all."

"I wondered why you went back on your word."

Numair looked at her, one eyebrow raised.

"What?" He asked.

"Well you sent a note to the kennels saying that you had to do something so you had to call the lunch off."

"I never sent a letter!" Numair exclaimed.

"Who cares now Numair, we are together, and we are not fighting. I don't care whatever you said before, because all of it has led to this moment, and now, I am not alone." She whispered, kissing him slowly again. Once she broke the kiss Numair smiled warmly.

"I love You Daine."

"I love you Numair, more than anything." She said, smiling at him.

"But what is to happen to you? Your parents are Gods, shouldn't you go with them?" Numair asked after another moment, wondering where she was to go. For a moment his heart sank again at the thought of losing her. Daine smiled.

"Well they did offer for me to live with them, and become a god myself, but you were not allowed to come. So I said I would stay here, for I would rather spend my life with you, of course." Daine said. Numair slowly got up and with Daine, walked away from the clearing, Happy that he had found the woman he loved and that nothing could take her away.

**We're better off alone **

**Than lying to ourselves **

**I don't care what you've said **

**I don't care what I know **

**Don't say its all been a waste of time **

Alanna knocked on Numair's door once again. She had brought some dinner for him. She was worried about him, very worried. They had all been affected by Daine's death, but he had become something to worry about. She understood that he was upset, but he needed to learn to remember the good things about her, so that he was not living his days out in misery. There was no answer and she knocked again.

"Numair it's Alanna. I know your in there. I brought you some dinner," She said. Silence. "Numair, you need to eat something."

No answer.

Alanna frowned, purple eyes full of worry. She knocked once more, with more force this time.

"Numair, I give up for you being polite. I'm coming in." she said. She summoned up purple fire from her soul, and threw it at the lock. There was a violent flash of purple light as the lock blew up in a hiss. The door swung open slowly. The Lioness walked in slowly with the plate of food balanced in one hand. She was surprised to see the torches lit, the room full of light once again. The blinds were open, showing a sky full of stars. Alanna looked around and dropped the plate of food.

There on the bed, lay Numair. She thought he may have been sleeping, but his chest was not rising and falling in the steady rhythm of breathing. She moved over to him, looking at his face. He was gone.

"Numair…" she mumered, wondering what had happened.

She searched around his body trying to find reason for this. She found a folded piece of parchment. the outside of the fold said '_This cannot go unsaid._' She opened it and saw Numair's handwriting, which was messier than usual. Hastily she started to read.

_Dear whom finds this letter,_

_If only I could have found something to hang onto in this world, something that I could hang onto. Only I have found nothing but sorrow and guilt. I feel nothing good anymore, nothing worth living for since Daine was murdered. All I hear are the voices in my head, taunting me, reminding me of what I did. How I was the one who caused her to lose her life. I know that hopefully Perin will be found, but my heart cannot wait that long. My heart is full of darkness, pain, grief and loss. I felt no reason to go on any longer. My darkened heart goes out to you, who found my dead body, but I want my friends to know, that the fault is not theirs. This was my decision and they should not be weighed down by the loss of me. They must continue their lives in happiness, that of which I cannot find here. Maybe wherever death takes me, I will finally find what is hidden from me. _

Alanna finished reading it, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. She was not one to usually cry, but this was a sort of pain she hardly ever experienced. The pain of losing a dear friend. She sobbed slightly and placed the letter down, looking at Numair once more.

On his chest lay a single red rose.

**It cannot go unsaid **

**I only want you to know **

**I think its all going to work out fine**


End file.
